Having the chance to go to San Fracisco and be with local contributors for the bay area release of Kicked Out is an experience I know I’ll never be able to forget. When the bay area local contributors began talking with the wonderful Modern Times Bookstore folks about doing a release event I didn’t believe there was any way I was going to be able to go- NYC is a long way away, only 3 months before the event, and in the middle of summer which meant not chance of getting a college booking in the area that might have covered the expenses.

With Kicked Out contributors spread out across the United States and beyond our borders I know that I will not always be able to attend every single Kicked Out event, but there was/is something special about *this * book releasing in San Francisco and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself for at least not trying to get out there. Getting there was something I could never have done on my own, I’m so grateful to the couple friends/colleagues who made small financial donations, and another friend  who donated her frequent use hotel points so I’d have somewhere to stay, to my partner who did budgetary gymnastics to pull together the rest of the airfare, and to my friends in the bay area who rallied to help me book other events 4 events in the days I was in town.

On Friday night I did a reading at Magnet called Children of the Revolution which is this new collection of stories I’ve put together that I’m calling part memoir, part love letter to queer gutterpunk Oregon. Essentially it’s a somewhat humerous collection of stories set a few months after I was kicked out and made my way to Portland and is set in the queer youth center, and punk houses.

Then there was Saturday, the whole reason for the trip- the San Francisco release of Kicked Out!  I was so excited about being there and actually getting to meet Booh Edouardo and Tommi Avicolli Mecca who I’ve worked really close with for the past several years all through Kicked Out’s production but had never had the pleasure of meting.

The event itself surpassed anything I could have hoped for. It was pretty well attended, especially for a busy Saturday evening in San Francisco and the audience was so enthusiastic about the book.

Booh read from his story “Tangled Hair”

Tommi played a beautiful song that he’d written about his experience, and then read from his story ‘Dishonoring the Family’

I read an exceprt from my story and then we had one of the best Q&A and talkback sessions I’ve ever had the pleasure of being part of. The audience was so engaged, and enraged at not just the epidemic of LGBTQ youth homelessness as a whole but the specific issues taking place in San Francisco that Tommi and Booh were able to speak about. It was a pleasure to be part of an event where people left not only excited about the book, but also visibly and vocally energized to go out fight for the rights of homeless queer youth. This event proved to me once again the power that telling our stories can have to reach people, and be kindling to larger concrete social change.

On my last day in San Francisco I was thrilled to be able to join up with Jen Cross of Writing Ourselves Whole to co-facilitate a writing workshop. The workshop was titled Queer Surviving: Telling our whole stories and designed for LGBTQ folks who were survivors of violence, including being kicked out/ homelessness to come and tell their stories.

Me, Tommi, and Booh at the San Francisco release of Kicked Out!

I have a blog post in the works to talk about the incredible experiences I had in San Francisco this past weekend connected to the SF release of Kicked Out. I flew home to Brooklyn on a redeye flight last night arriving very early this morning so I fear that post won’t be going live tonight. That said I wanted to share with all of you a little piece of homeless queer youth history from San Francisco.

In 1966 LGBTQ youth in San Francisco’s Tenderloin founded Vanguard which is now considered to be the first gay liberation organization!  From 1966-1969 the group produced a magazine that explored themes of poverty, social stigma along with other themes such as sex work.  There are resources about Vanguard here including an audio interview with former members of the group talking about their experiences including police violence, and loss of biological family.  http://www.glbthistory.org/Vanguard/

One of the topics that came up as part of the talk back after the Kicked Out release on Saturday night was the idea that LGBTQ youth homelessness is not new, this is an issue that has always been part of our community, but one that has often been ignored.  Preserving the legacy of groups like Vanguard and the youth who were involved with that group is so essential as we continue moving forward to end LGBTQ youth homelessness.

San Francisco Release of Kicked Out!

Saturday August 28th 7pm

Modern Times Bookstore

888 Valencia St. (at 20th  Street)

Tomorrow morning very early I’m getting on an airplane and flying to San Francisco! I’m so phenomenally grateful that I’m going to be able to go and be there with the two contributors from the bay area: Booh Eduardo and Tommi Avicolli Mecca  for the Kicked Out release on Saturday night.  Call me sentimental but there is something very special about *this * book’s first reading in the bay area.

Like so many other LGBTQ people young and old when I first came out San Francisco seemed like a magical place. It was in those first few days of homelessness that the dream of Kicked Out was born, if someone had told me then that nine years later I’d be preparing to go to SF to release a book called ‘Kicked Out’ filled with the voices of so many other people who have had similar experiences I would have never believed them. Now as I’m sitting here almost completely packed and ready to go, that baby GSA kid I was when I first dreamed of Kicked Out is throwing glitter and having a dance party.

I need to offer a special thank you to the friends and colleagues who made personal donations of money and hotel points to get me there, and a shout out to my partner who did gymnastics with our budget in order to make the rest of it work so that I could be there.

While In SF this weekend I will be doing three other events – two workshops and a reading Friday night at Magnet. For information about any of those other events click here

A dear friend of mine, incredible writer, and professor   forwarded me this article from the Poetry Foundation today  about how Raymond McDaniels’s in his book Saltwater Empire “decided to use the personal histories of six African American Katrina survivors as “found poetry”—stripped of names and context, and combined with one another—as the centerpiece poem of Saltwater Empire, without contacting the project or the survivors.” It bears repeating that the individuals whose words were used were not contacted. They did not give permission for McDaniels to take their words.

Reading the article I was heartbroken and angry for the people who had their words and stories taken and passed off as someone else’s so that he could benefit from it. It made me think about an experience (admittedly very different from the one here) I had this year of someone from a major publishing house using my story of being kicked out. In the book they changed and altering my experience into something I could not recognize.

Beyond my personal feelings regarding McDaniels’ book, as someone who regularly facilitates writing groups with trauma survivors, and who is gifted with hearing so many other peoples stories as I travel and tour,  I am professionally heartbroken that someone would feel it was acceptable to take these peoples words and use them in such a way.

There is a HUGE difference between being inspired by someone’s experience, or using an individuals words with their permission and with credit, and simply taking the words of hurting people and passing them off as your own.

What happened to these people is unacceptable on so many levels, and hit really close to home for me. This is precisely what I worked so so so so so hard to avoid with Kicked Out and all the other work that I do.  The idea that someone would approach sensitive work without those same concerns  is deplorable.

We’ve been getting many requests from individuals wanting to purchase Kicked Out as an eBook.  We have heard your requests, and I’m thrilled to be able to announce that it is now available for purchase from Rainbow eBooks http://www.rainbowebooks.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=2369

i’ve posted a lot recently about The Center For American Progress’ great new report looking at the epidemic of LGBTQ youth homelessness. They have just posted a video that talks further about their work on report as well as people talking about their personal experiences with homelessness.

Kicked Out got a fantastic review in ‘Outlook Columbus’   this weekend!  Reviewer Richard Labonte called Kicked Out a “landmark anthology” and a  ”must-read”  !

To check out the full review visit: http://outlookcolumbus.com/2010/08/book-marks-08-09-10/

I was off on tour this weekend to Baltimore at Red Emmas bookstore for the Baltimore release of Kicked Out.  It was a really intense and wonderful trip.  I’m still processing all the incredible conversations and interactions I had with activists, organizers, writers, and other folks I had down there. I’m still in awe at the impact Kicked Out has on peoples lives, and I feel so blessed to have been given the privilege of sharing it with the world. I will likely have a blog post about that up in the not too distant future but I’m still doing a bit of emotional unpacking–the best trips always take me a few days to fully recover from.

In the meantime I want to share with you some really exciting work that’s taking place out in Clackamas Oregon – the county where I grew up.  There is a new organization out there called The Living Room.  The group held a big fundraiser last week, and a few weeks ago asked me if I’d be willing to write a testimonial story about my experience being queer in Clackamas that could be shared that night.  Below is the story that I wrote:

Living in New York City I’m just about as far away from Clackamas County as I could get. People here don’t know anything about living in the shadow of Mt. Hood, in the challenges of existing so close and yet so far from the liberalness of Portland. I’ve come a long way, but my roots are within the red Clackamas clay and fertile farmlands.

My coming out as queer in Clackamas was met with silence and hatred. It was made very clear to me that Clackamas was not a place to be gay. Despite my roots, regardless of being part of Future Farmers of America, listening to country music, being patriotic and deeply rooted in my community, I was no longer welcome. Coming out caused me to loose my family who was unable to accept my identity, and I ultimately had to leave home at seventeen. I wasn’t content with being silent; survival for me required being vocal and active. I was a founding member of Clackamas High School’s first Gay Straight Alliance, but being out had consequences, and I was constantly looking over my shoulder fearing for my safety. At that time there was an outreach program called COSMYC that had just begun offering services in the country. COSMYC gave me a sense of community, and even if attending was at points unsafe (once we were chased out of a coffee shop in Milwaukie by skinheads) it offered me the opportunity to realize that there was a community of queer people outside of the county, and that there was hope. Knowing that there is a new organization forming in Clackamas to meet the needs of youth makes me feel proud of the organizing work I had the opportunity to be part of, and relived that current youth will have resources and a support network.

In the days after leaving home I sat in one of the Clackamas County libraries and looked at all the LGBT books they stocked searching for stories that would reflect my experience of growing up in a rural and semi-rural environment, and loosing my family because of who I was. I didn’t find anything, and that day made a commitment to myself that if I survived I would create a book so no other queer kid would feel alone. That promise became the Kicked Out anthology, which brought together the voices of current and former homeless LGBTQ youth from around the country and was released this year from Homofactus Press.

For me staying in Clackamas wasn’t an option, but I carry a little piece of the county with me everywhere I go, every time I speak about the epidemic of LGBTQ youth homelessness, and each time I share my own story. My hope is that we are moving towards the reality that anywhere, including Clackamas can be a safe space for LGBTQ youth to grow up. The best advice I can give to youth coming out in Clackamas is to remain strong, try not to internalize others intolerance for you, and whenever possible build a chosen family of LGBTQ folks to have as a support system.

There is a facebok event page for the event here: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=128184740541922&ref=ts if you are in Baltimore, or you know folks in the area please invite them!  Hope to see you Saturday at Red Emma!

Queer Arts Now is a webseries showcasing queer artists Co-Hosted by Ks Stevens and Ashley Brockington who go on location to interview ongoing cultural artists and ongoing live cultural events. In this episode of Queer Arts Now they head to NYC’s Bluestockings bookstore to cover the Kicked Out reading!